i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
