You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
