I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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