I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
