bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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