Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
