I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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