a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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