is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
