would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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