he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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