Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
