i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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