This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
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you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize