Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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