He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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