Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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