if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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