I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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