Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I looked at my own cervix.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
