you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize