the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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