This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
