you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
