I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
vagina is talking i cant
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
