Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
