My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize