He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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