You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
