We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
