What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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