who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's always time for handjobs
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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