This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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