That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
