the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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