is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
