I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
