Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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