Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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