The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
