you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
