She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
