The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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