You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
