so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
