Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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