I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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