i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
