It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
