I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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