my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So. Much. Porn.
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