I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
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My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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