Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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