your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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