Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
