you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
