I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
