I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
