I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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