Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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