Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
