I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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