oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She bit a glass in half.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
