Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask