Just fell off a train. Bad.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
In other news, I just burned my penis
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister