Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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